Regaining intimacy after cancer

By Bart Pillen, Ph.D.
Kapi'olani Clinical Psychologist

Physically and emotionally, a cancer diagnosis can have a profound effect on one area of women's health that is often ignored: sexuality.

Sex may not seem important when survival is at stake. But for most women, the issue of intimacy following treatment will be an area of concern and it's never too early to open the discussion with one's partner.

Chemotherapy and radiation may produce fatigue that reduces sexual interest and vitality. Mastectomies and other surgeries change women physically, altering their self-image and sometimes leading to depression.

The strength of a woman's relationships plays a big role in ability to cope with illness. With a good foundation of social, family and partner support, women deal with illness better, have a more positive attitude and experience less depression.

It is important to realize that sexuality is a part of the whole process of treatment. Emotional support and physical intimacy from a partner can only help speed recovery.

Many women can resume and enjoy normal sexual encounters after surgery and treatment. Because it may take time for a woman to feel physically well enough for this, partners may wish to explore new sensations together, something for which an emotional foundation must be laid.

Without blame or defensiveness, partners must talk about concerns or discomfort they may have about their sexual relationship. A couple may find that non-sexual gestures of affection are a good starting point.

If you find that you need assistance working through issues, don't hesitate to seek help from a professional. Psychologists at Kapi'olani are available to meet with women and their partners.

For further information, please call 535-7000.

September, 2004 Kapi'olani Woman Newsletter